


Love hurts

by m_findlow



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 07:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16760848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_findlow/pseuds/m_findlow
Summary: The team discover there's such a thing as tough love.





	Love hurts

Whoever though Jack hugging too much couldn't possibly be a bad thing, had never actually experienced such a thing first hand.

'It's just a harmless cupid's box. Makes you come over all lovey dovey. Totally harmless.' Jack assured them.

That was until he accidentally dropped it off the side of his desk, setting it off and inhaling the potent contents. All of them.

'If he tries to snuggle up to me one more time,' threatened Owen, 'I'm going to surgically remove both his arms. Group hugs are five yards closer than I ever want to be to any of you lot.'

'Yeah, admittedly it was cute for the first five minutes,' conceded Gwen, 'but I'm seriously hugged out.'

'What are you complaining about,' gasped Ianto. 'I'm going to need a crowbar to get him off me. Would somebody please help?' he said, struggling against the enormous bear hug he was receiving.

The rest of them were just glad that Jack had latched on to something that wasn't them. After all, Ianto was his boyfriend. If anyone was going to be able to put up with his affections for long periods of time, surely it would be him.

'Not having fun, Teaboy?'

'No! This is really... not what I meant... when I said we should.... spend more time together!'

'You're my favourite!' Jack replied, totally nonsensically, until he spied Tosh approaching to help Ianto. 'Tosh, I love you!' he exclaimed, letting go of Ianto and sweeping her into yet another tight embrace.

Part of Ianto wanted to help Tosh but, and part of him knew that in doing so, he'd be right back where he'd started. He did it anyway. He was a bigger build than Tosh, and so there was far less chance of permanent damage. He was still fairly sure he'd be sporting some serious bruises tomorrow.

'At least we should be glad he doesn't want to shag everything in sight.'

'And that would be different to normal, how?'

'Ianto! Give me a kiss!'

'If I do, will you let me go?'

'Never!'

'Thought so. Owen, would you please do something?'

'I'm out of sedatives. We used the entire batch on that stupid hoix on Monday.'

'Brilliant! What else have you got?'

'I've got the stun gun, but if he doesn't let go of you, you're going down as well.'

Jack's hugging was starting to constrict his breathing. This must have been what they meant by tough love. 'Just shoot him for God's sake! I don't care! In five seconds I'm not going to be able to breathe anyway!'

Owen wished he could say he would enjoy this moment as much as he'd thought he would in his head. He'd fantasised about it often enough. 'Promise me you won't put me on decaf, first.'

'Just do it!'

Zap!

'Ow,' groaned Ianto, coming to and realising he was lying on the floor. 'Why does that stupid stun gun always feel like the worst hangover ever?'

'Be grateful you only copped a half share,' Owen said, reaching down to pick him up off the floor.

'Where's Jack?'

'Captain Cuddles is down in the cells until this stupid thing wears off.'

'And how long is that?'

'Why don't we go find out?'

It was never a fun moment, watching a member of the team forcefully locked up for their own safety, along with that of everybody else, but it was necessary at times.

'Owen! Can I have a hug? I've missed you!'

'No, you bloody well can't. Yep, not better yet,' Owen confirmed.

'And looking noticeably better than I feel right now, the bastard,' Ianto moaned.

'Ianto, I'm lonely down here. Won't you stay and keep me company? We could cuddle together.'

There was something pathetic about the request that made Ianto feel sorry for him, despite everything.

'Fine. You,' he pointed authoritatively at Owen, 'need to figure this out. He didn't mention whether this was permanent or not. Find out. Presumably since he copped the entire box load, it's meant to otherwise have a short life span. Shame there's not enough left to test it on some of your lab rats, but find out what you can.'

'Alright, alright, keep your shirt on. Who died and made you boss, anyway?'

'Protocol 917.'

Owen groaned. 'Stupid protocol 917. Remind me which one puts me in charge, again?'

'There isn't one.'

'Just as I suspected. Just don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, and whatever you do, do not go in that cell, no matter how much he begs. It'll be me that gets the arse kicking if he accidentally kills you with love.'

Owen walked away and up the stairs to the main hub, leaving Ianto standing there, watching a love addled Jack idly humming and mumbling to himself through the perspex door.

'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.'

'Only if I get to count the ways you're going to make this up to me later, Jack.'


End file.
